Ok, but I want to be a member of the Ivan Braginsky Defense Squad and wear a badass patch, and have automatic permission to annihilate anyone who disrespects him, like

“Come in everyone on Tumblr, can you read me? Ivan Braginsky’s whereabouts is currently unknown, but my team suspects he might be somewhere in Siberia. Our current objective is to eliminate any possible threats. Is that clear? Move out!” 

*Dramatic epic action heroic cinematic music starts playing*